We're leaving

We can't stay here any longer, we just can't. There's too many memories that come up no matter where I go. They always bring up our nightmares, Ava, how everyone and the way things used to be. While they're good memories, it only punches a fucking hole in my chest and it gets harder to breathe. I have no idea how many times I've broken down in the past few weeks. Everything is so raw and painful, I can't even handle walking out the door most days. Sophie obviously isn't herself anymore and Tom is so distant now, it's scary to think how downhill our lives went since we started this goddamn project.

That's why we're leaving.
 
Tom told us of a few safe houses he knows and Sophie and I are going to stay there. Tom said something about him needing to stay behind to hold up his end of some deal, but I didn't ask what it was. I probably should have and might bring it up with him, but I was so... relieved, I guess, that we were getting the hell out of this place that what that deal might be or end up doing went over my head.

I'm just so exhausted you guys. I don't know what more to do other than leave. I love my family to death no matter how much they've hurt me or made me angry... I would never want them to be in harms way, so I guess I'm doing them several favors by doing this. I'm not sure what Sophie or Tom's family will think or do... we'll probably be on the amber alert thing for a while. Be missing persons cases I don't know. But please. If you hear about any of that, do not come looking for us. Do not do anything that could give us away. We're doing this so we can finally be free.

Idle.

The more I dig through these notes, the more I understand how Ava must've felt during her last couple of days. It's terrifying knowing death is looming over you, almost close enough to touch but too far away to even see. It's even worse to know that failure could put Sophie's and Luca's lives in danger, not to mention it would surely kill me

I know there's something more going on now. I can feel Him getting closer with every passing second, constantly watching me, digging into my head and just looking for any chance to pounce. It's nerve-wrecking, but gives me a reason to keep on going with this. Which is just what I need right now.

Three days ago, I found the code for the box. It was buried amongst one of Ava's many computer files, probably intentionally hidden for her own safety.

I haven't opened it yet. I don't know why, but something tells me that now is not the time, that the moment will come where I need it more than ever. I can't know when and I can't know how. But I can hear His calling.

It's close.